No Longer Dead, Double Trained, and Penis Rescue

I’m NOT Dead Anymore……I Promise

A Findley, Ohio man was told that the 1994 ruling declaring him legally dead…….can NOT be overturned.  YUP….that is correct, although Donald Miller, Jr (61) stood in court (appearing of sound mind and body)…….he was informed by Hancock County Probate Judge Allan Davis that there is a 3 year limit to have a death declaration overturned. 

     “We’ve got the obvious here. A man sitting in the court room… I don’t know where that leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned,” Judge Davis. 

    Let us recap…….Miller VANISHED from his home in 1994! It was 2005 before Miller RESURFACED in Ohio and decided that he no longer wished to be (declared) dead.   He went to court in order to obtain a driver’s license.  His ex-wife (Robin Miller) did NOT agree with his decision to alert the courts, etc. to him NOT being dead………..she objected because she does NOT have the money to repay Social Security for the benefits they paid out to her and the couple’s 2 children.  According to Robin, Miller vanished in 1994 because he owed $26,000 in child support payments. 

     Miller on the other hand claims that he disappeared in the 1980’s because he was an alcoholic who lost his job.  His parents informed him that he was dead when he returned from hiding in Florida and Georgia. 

“It kind of went further than expected it to.” – Donald Miller, Jr.

   

     According to Judge Davis, Miller can challenge the Social Security Administration in Federal Court…….BUT surprise, surprise…….Miller does NOT have the (financial) resources to do so. 

Double Train Survivor

    

     Police in Utah are in shock these days…….truly unable to believe what they recently witnessed.  Police were pursuing a Mercedes when it drove onto train tracks and was HIT by a passing train.  Officers rushed to the car to assist the driver, when…..before a horn could be heard……ANOTHER train hit the SAME CAR.

     MIRACULOUSLY…..the driver of the car’s injuries were: A BROKEN ARM.  By the way, the FIRST train was ALREADY headed southbound when the FEMALE driver collided with it.

50 Shades of Red

       The London Fire Brigade has launched a public shaming campaign in hopes that it will (ultimately) ELIMINATE embarrassing emergency calls and “rescues”.  The campaign takes its name from the popular erotic novel, “Fifty Shades of Grey” due to the Brigade’s theory that the influx of erotic emergency rescues may be due to the novel’s popularity. 

    According to data, the Brigade has responded to the following:

·        416 stuck body parts (2010-2011)

·        441 stuck body parts (2011-2012)

·        453 stuck body parts (2012-2013)

79 of the people rescued where wearing handcuffs that they could not remove themselves.  There was also a quite memorable incident where EMS had to rescue a man’s penis from a vacuum cleaner.  Cookware and oils have been reasons why emergency services have been called upon by people as well. 

     The campaign INCLUDES responders taking to Twitter to inform of the emergent requests made by people lacking the good sense NOT to stick body parts in places NOT meant for them. 

     Emergency agencies in the US do not seem quite as ready as London is to publicly address these types of calls/rescues.  Although there have been instances where large METAL rings have become LODGED around men’s private areas and there have ALSO been occasions where PLASMA CUTTERS have been used to free individuals from items they were using for erotic pleasuring.