JB Double.....Jell-O 9-1-1...........Bomb Hoax

I AM UN-BE-LIEB-ABLE

   

  What would you do with $100,000?  Well, Toby Sheldon (33) thought that the best use of $100,000 and five years was to have plastic surgery in order to turn himself into his idol, Justin Bieber.  Yes…..his idol….and YES, he is 33.  Although the Bieb’s himself is ONLY 18 and the vast majority of his fans are just now migrating into high school……..this uber fan has put their crazed fandemonium to shame.

     How the money was raised/earned remains a mystery, due to Sheldon being labeled as a “songwriter” but no actual credits have surfaced for him.   Either way, he has spent the past half-decade attempting to turn himself into the ex-beau of Selena Gomez.

      The British “songwriter” had Botox injections, hair implants and “smile surgery”. 

     “It’s Justin’s smile that gives him his youthful look.  So I had my upper lip lifted [and] my bottom lip plumped out.” – Sheldon (to the ‘Crown).

Cancellation.....Bomb Style

     Neil McArdie (36) showed himself to be less than diligent when it came to his April wedding.   Rather than admit to his lovely bride, Amy Williams, that he [simply] forgot to fill out the paperwork at Liverpool’s St. George’s Hall…….McArdie woke up on the day of his wedding and called in a bogus bomb threat to the venue.  Williams was forced to stand outside in the street in her gown as the building was evacuated.  The staff was mortified beyond words……since his hoax came just days after the catastrophic Boston Marathon Bombings.

     Later in the day, McArdie was arrested and admitted that he had made the call due to his forgetfulness.   This past week he was sentenced to 12 months via the Liverpool Crown Court.  According to the prosecutor, McArdie stated SEVERAL times that he was embarrassed and ashamed of his actions.  Judge Norman Wright had the following to say about McArdie’s antics/behavior, “She was getting ready, expecting you were going to be man and wife and a very solemn public event in her life and you knew that was not going to take place……You did not say ‘We need to talk.’ You tried to weasel your way out by creating a bomb hoax so the wedding would not take place.”

     If you are wondering……..Ms. Williams is STILL with Mr. McArdie.  Let us hope that the next attempt at nuptials goes more as planned.

9-1-1 PUDDING CALL

   

  A 39 year old employee of Wakenfern Food Corp called 9-1-1 (on 10.10.2013) to report the theft of his Jell-O brand strawberry Jell-O snack from the break room.  According to the victim this was NOT the first time that this has happened.  As of date, police have yet to apprehend the Jell-O snack thief.